Blood Lust
by vampedninjax3
Summary: After Edward and Bella's first encounter in biology, Edward goes back to her house instead of Alaska and almost kills her,but his family stops him. How does Bella deal with being a vampire, when she has no love for Edward? Does their love ever develop?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys! this is my first fanfic! I would love revgiews :] it takes place Bella's first day in Forks. Edward couldn't stay away. _

**I don't own these awesome charcters...Stephenie Meyer does!**

**Chapter 1: The Monster**

**EPOV**

I watched as she placed the groceries on the counter of her small kitchen. Chief Swan wouldn't be home for a few hours and it would only be a matter of time until Alice would see what I was going to do. She was just a plain human girl, why did I want her this much? I was jeopardizing my family, but we could move again, start over, we've done such before. I had to act quick and finally made the decision. I would make it as painless as possible for her. I silently opened the window and was hit with the potency of her scent, which was worse in her home than in the biology classroom. I could barely contain myself. I stalked behind her, ready to strike, when she unexpectedly turned around and let out a gasp, her question filled chocolate-brown eyes went wide. That was the last thing I saw of Bella Swan, as the monster in me took over, roaring in victory. It all happened quickly then, I knocked her unconscious to save her from the pain. I began to pierce her with my venom-filled razor sharp teeth tasting human blood for the first time in 90 years. As the monster in me took over I was almost unaware of the thoughts around me and consumed with the blood satisfying my all too longing thirst. I heard quick footsteps around me, my family had come.  
"Your going to regret this Edward!" Alice yelled at me as I drained the girl's blood, making sure to drop no blood anywhere in the kitchen. At that moment I felt a sudden lethargic mood fill me and Emmett grabbing me from behind while Carlisle pried me from the human girl. I had disappointed him, my father, who had worked very hard for this life, but I thought of nothing but blood, her blood. As they freed the girl from me the blood began to fall everywhere causing Alice and Emmett to exit the house quickly, while restraining me in their arms. Jasper was waiting in the car, I saw myself, through each of their eyes. I saw the monster I had become, I saw the surprise that filled their thoughts and I saw the way they felt sympathy for me. I gasped for air as we exited the house, her scent was not as potent outside, and the taste of her blood left trails of warmth in my mouth. That's when I came to my senses.  
"What have I done?" I cried out in agony as I crippled to the floor.


	2. First Hunt and The Cullens

_Hey guys! I hope you like this chapter, I kinda skipped the description of the characters, I think you guys know exactly how they should look ;] Anyways I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the reviews from the last chapter._

_I don't own these characters, the awesome SM does._

**BPOV**  
The burning, the fire, what did I do to deserve this? It felt like an eternity had passed. All I could remember was seeing _him_ before this hell.  
Edward Cullen.  
I knew he hated me that much showed in biology today but, why was he the last thing I saw before my death? What did I do to deserve this hell? What would happen to Charlie and Renee? I couldn't bear the burning, I knew screaming would do me no good, hell was hell after all.

I laid where I was, too scared to open my eyes when I heard them. Through the burning, there had been footsteps, voices and arguments. Only one voice I recognized out of these, _his_. What was he doing here, in my personal hell? Maybe I wasn't dead after all. Then I heard an unfamiliar man's voice  
"Bella, I am Carlisle Cullen, you're going to be okay, the burning will end soon."

What did they know of this excruciating pain? How did they know it would end?  
I recognized Edward's voice easier, but it was different from the attendance office, which seemed like an eternity ago.  
"Carlisle, what have I done? She's probably in so much pain…just because of my selfishness" he cried out in agony.

Why was he so unhappy? Didn't he hate me? How was his selfishness involved in this _burning_? I thought I was dead. Then a girl's voice chimed in,

"It will only be a couple of minutes now..." she said with absolute certainty.

That was Alice. Edward had talked to her multiple times asking what would happen or how long it would take. There were 7 people in the room now, I supposed they were the Cullens, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Edward. As I listened to the conversations the burning intensified, if it was bad before, it was ten times worse now. I couldn't contain it any longer, I didn't care, I screamed as loud as I could and my eyes flew open. When I opened my eyes I saw his face again. It had to be the most beautiful face ever, it was the last thing I had seen before the burning, but now it seemed so much clearer, more defined. The deadly look I had seen from him in my kitchen was replaced with a look of pain.

"Bella, it will be alright, only a little while longer, I promise." A reassuring voice said, it sounded like Carlisle.

Then the burning increased even more, like a fight was occurring in my body. At that moment I heard one last thump and everything stopped, the burning had stopped, my hell was over. I looked around me, all the Cullens were surrounding me, but I was too consumed by everything around me. I could hear the breeze outside, everything going on in the house, I could see colors I had never seen before, so many things were occurring around me, and it was too overwhelming.

"Bella?" Carlisle said hesitantly, while a very calm mood filled me.  
"Yes." I answered back, but was surprised by my voice. It sounded like bells, completely different than before. Was this a dream?  
"You already know something is wrong, but let me explain to you first." He said in an assuring tone.  
"Its been three days since you started your first day at Forks High." I was surprised, it felt like an eternity since the burning started.  
"You were making dinner when Edward came..." he was reluctant to explain the rest and looked at Jasper, who slightly nodded.  
"Bella, we are vampires." Carlisle said with absolute seriousness. I thought I was dreaming, then I felt an aching in my throat. It was not like being thirsty, it was worse, like I had swallowed flames. My instincts told me I wanted something, blood. That's when it hit me, he was telling the truth and now I was one of them, a vampire.  
"How?" was all I could say in my shock.  
"We are a coven who has a permanent residence here, because we don't feed on humans." 6 pairs of eyes focused on Edward, including my own. Carlisle quickly continued.  
"We all make mistakes sometimes." he said in a harsh tone that made everyone look back at the floor, except Rosalie who kept a smug smile on her face.

"Edward made a mistake, but we were able to save you." he said in a careful tone. I looked at Edward who still had the look of pain on his face.

So he was responsible for my burning? Why would he do this to me? The pain seemed out of place on the beautiful face, which had caused me all this agony.

"Bella you are a vampire now, and it is your decision if you would stay with us or go by yourself."

The last thing I wanted was to be alone, so I made the decision to stay with the Cullens. Then it occurred to me.

"What about Charlie and Renee and School?" I started to panic, how would this workout?

Then a sudden calm hit me again as soon as Carlisle began to talk.  
"I'm sorry Bella, you can't see them again, but we will move and start school again soon." Carlisle said in a sympathetic tone. I wasn't going to have a mental breakdown and embarrass myself in front of everyone, so I tried to stay calm.  
"How long until we move?" was all I could think to ask. They were all surprised by my question and Carlisle was reluctant to answer.  
"A month or two, we have to leave no suspicions behind."  
"What suspicions?" I asked  
"About your death." Carlisle answered slowly.

"This is going to kill Charlie." I said in a small voice.

"Shouldn't she hunt, now?" Edward asked in a small voice.

"Oh! Yes, I'm sorry Bella, you must be in pain…" Carlisle responded

"Uh, well, Alice would you like to take her?" He asked Alice

"Gladl-" Alice was beginning to say

"No" Edward interrupted "I'll take her." All the Cullens looked at Edward with surprise across their faces.

"I think Edward has hunted enough for a decade…" Rosalie snickered.

"That's enough Rosalie!" Carlisle and Esme shouted in return.

"It's alright, I deserve it." Edward whispered.

"It happens all the time Edward, at least you didn't kill her, I wouldn't want to deal with the emotional wreck Alice told us you would be if you actually did…" Emmett said with a giant grin on his face.

We ran through the forest at such a speed the grown felt like it had disappeared. Once we reached far enough from the house, he stopped.  
"Let me explain." Was all he said and then he came closer.  
"Its all my fault, you won't realize until later the extent of my sin, this life or rather existence, you have become is a curse and I have passed this on to you, a helpless human girl." He cried out in anguish.  
"Edward." Saying his name did strange things to my body, like if I still had a heart it would beat faster.  
"Everyone makes mistakes, don't kill yourself over this, I'm still alive." I said with absolute sympathy for him. I didn't like the anguish on his face, even though I knew I should hate him, I just couldn't. He would continue to torture himself like this and I could never satisfy the thirst and burning in my throat if he continued with this lecture. Edward looked up slowly and smiled a beautiful crooked smile, but it did not meet his ruby colored eyes.

"I wish I could know what you're thinking." I heard him whisper.  
"Well, it's too bad you can't read minds." I replied. He chuckled and quickly changed the subject.  
"Aren't you thirsty?" he asked, my throat was in flames and I could feel the burning coming back. He saw the look on my face knew his answer.

We hunted deer and elk in the forest; they didn't quite quench the  
thirst, but calmed the burning. I looked like a character in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, while Edward looked like he just came back from a stroll in the park.

We returned to the house and the Cullens were all waiting for us. I was too preoccupied with the thirst, that I didn't notice the house. The house was beautiful, everything was furnished with a light color scheme and very open windows, I would have never guessed vampires lived here. Then Carlisle began to speak.

"Bella, I believe the family hasn't properly introduced themselves, so we would all like to. Let's start with Alice."

"Hi Bella, I'm Alice!" she said with such excitement and began hopping up and down.

"We're going to be best friends!" she began to look like the energizer bunny.

"Alice and Jasper are the newest addition to our family, well until you. They also have special talents…" Carlisle added.

"Special talents?" I asked curiously.

"Alice has visions of the future and Jasper can sense and control emotions." Carlisle replied

"Well that explains why I haven't been having an emotional breakdown…" I whispered, but then realized everyone could hear me. Jasper was the first to laugh, and then everyone joined in. I would've turned tomato red at this moment.

"Your surprisingly calm for a newborn Bella, especially one in your situation, I'm surprised you haven't tried to bite off Edward's head by now." Jasper said in the middle of his laughter. I saw Edward glower at Jasper who just continued to laugh, then someone cleared their throat.

"Moving on, this is Rosalie and Emmett, at times you'll love them and others…not so much." Carlisle said obviously referring to some past occasion. Rosalie and Emmett began giggling uncontrollably while Edward rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry Bella, but we'll see you later." Emmet said as they went upstairs and slammed their door shut. A look of confusion crossed over my face, when I heard something I never wanted to hear again and started to tune out the second floor of the house. Carlisle spoke again.

"Well, you will get used to that soon enough, Bella." He said rolling his eyes.

"Moving on…I think you already know Edward, but I don't think he's properly introduced himself. He has a special talent, as well."

"Yes, I can read minds." He said with a grin on his face, and then his features changed from smug to frustrated.

"Except yours."

"Why? Is there something wrong with me?" I always knew I was different, I just didn't know there was something actually _wrong_ with me.

"No, No, I think you just have some kind of immunity…" He said hesitantly

"Oh." Was all I could come up with.

"And last, but of course not least this is my wife Esme." Carlisle said with utmost adoration.

"Hi Bella, please excuse the _children_ ahead of time, they can all be quite difficult at times…But you're a Cullen now and I hope you enjoy being in this family as much as we do." Esme said, all I could see was her caring nature. That's when it hit me, I was no longer Bella Swan the average human from Phoenix, and I was Bella Cullen a vampire.

_Hope you guys liked it!! Please Review, tell me if there's anything I need to work on. And will Bella ever really understand Edward? Will she ever really forgive him or just say it to shut him up? How will Charlie react to the new that his daughters gone missing? All in the next Chapter people :] Thanks for Reading._


	3. Pumps

_Thanks for the reviews last chapter! Especially Nikki for her ideas!! I might use some of them! To clear up what Edward thinks of all this I will write this chapter  
in his pov. I'm going to try to add more humor to it, lighten things up. It will get more romance-y soon so I Hope you like it. The chapters will get longer, I promise!_

**EPOV**

I watched her as she reacted to my family, well our family. I still couldn't believe I doomed this helpless human with an unreadable mind to this cursed life. She will soon see the monster I am for doing this to her.

I could tell in the forest there was no true acceptance; she didn't see what she lost yet. A normal person would've tried to kill me by now, but not her, why was she this difficult to understand?

I saw how Rosalie reacted to this new life, their reactions were complete opposites. But, out of all this there was one thing I didn't understand, why did I care this much? She was just another human.

Her blood was the greatest blood I've ever tasted, but that was not it. Was it just that I doomed her to this life? I did not think so. I planned on killing her; she is alive because of my family. I had turned her into this, that was my venom that reached her heart, but I wasn't proud of that, so it was definitely not that mind was a mystery, but that had just made me frustrated. There was something else, I couldn't figure out.

_Edward, stop torturing yourself, she's still here_. I heard Esme thinking

_She seems to be taking this better than we thought, Relax._ Carlisle thought  
_Everything will be alright, chill Edward_. Alice thought showing me different visions of her bonding with the family. S_he seems calm brother, there seems to be now resentment in her emotions_. Jasper commented.

Then I came to her, still nothing. Her now ruby-colored eyes matched mine, they were full of questions. This face was similar to what I saw in her kitchen.

Her heart-shaped face and chocolate-brown eyes were full of surprise and confusion when I came into her kitchen that night. Then an invitingly red colored her cheeks, I felt her warm skin under my ice-cold fingers as I began to drain her…

No. I banished that memory from my mind. I could no longer dwell on that mistake, but I would try to make it up to her in anyway possible. But there was something peculiar about her.

I had watched her while she hunted, there was something different about her, she didn't look like the average newborn, she had more control. She was different in other ways which I didn't understand. I had an eternity to figure out.  
"Bella, which room would you like to stay in?" Esme asked politely.

"Um…it doesn't matter, don't put yourselves out." She said, in a silvery tone. We had turned her into a vampire, and she was worried about putting us out? This girl was truly strange. No wonder she didn't want me to worry, I thought of how I could make it up to her.

"You can stay in my room…if you would like." I said in a soft tone, I had never known rejection, and not knowing her answer was worse.

"Uh, sure, I really don't have any of my stuff, or anything to wear…" She said reluctantly, I was actually counting down the seconds until Alice's reaction. 3, 2, 1…

"Guess what Bella?!" Alice said while hopping up and down.

"What, Alice?" She said with a smile, obviously amused by Alice's excitement.

"I did some online shopping, and got you a whole new wardrobe! You're going to love it!" She was actually glued to the computer for the whole three days, there was nothing like a new doll for her to make over. All the clothes ended up in my closet of course.

"Oh, um, Thank You? You really didn't have to..." She replied, of course she never wanted to put anyone out. I felt I began to understand her, she was quite self-less.

"No Problem, What are sisters for?" Alice said absolutely beaming. "There in Edward's closet, let's go check them out!" Alice dragged her upstairs quickly, Jasper following them. I stayed downstairs; bless Jasper for dealing with Alice's shopping antics.

Rosalie and Emmett finally emerged from their room, looking quite disheveled and followed Alice; Rosalie wanted to see the new clothes too. I guess I might as well join them, to make sure they don't defile my room.

**BPOV**

Alice led me upstairs into a huge bedroom, one wall was completely a window while the others contained a huge stereo and a collection of music with a black couch placed in the middle. Alice took me to the closet, and I let out a gasp.

"Thos are a lot of clothes, Alice!" I said horrified, it must have filled the whole walk-in closet.

"I know!" Alice said with great accomplishment.

"You really didn't have too…" I said slightly embarrassed they did this all for me

"Oh, hush up Bella, you're a Cullen now, you have to dress like one too."

Pairs of jeans were lined up with different blouses to go with them. There seem to be dresses for every occasion and way too many pairs of shoes. Handbags to go with each dress and outfit. I was speechless, this was worth more money than I had or would've ever see in my whole life. Besides the fact that I would never let any body spend this much money on me, I was a bit excited to see what she had picked out for me. I didn't know one person could possibly shop this much.  
"So how do you like it?" Alice said with an angelic smile, how could I dissapoint the little pixie? "I love it Alice! Thank you so much!" I said trying my best to put on my happy face.

I heard muffled laughter from Edward, Emmett and Jasper. They obviously saw through my pathetic attempt, but I hoped Alice didn't.  
"I knew you would love it!" she said hopping up and down

"Your about a size 2, so everything will fit, I saw that you would be terrified if their were no jeans, so I got you some seven and true religion." Alice said while rolling her amber colored eyes. "I also saw you would be a bit difficult wearing these dresses, but they'll come in handy, soon enough." she said giving me a sly smile.

"Try them on!" Rosalie said, she was obviously as excited as Alice was.

"Boys! Get out!" Alice said at once and they all quickly scurried out.

"Let's start with the jean/blouse ensembles!" Rosalie said with delight as she looked at her reflection in the mirror.

That's when I saw myself. The ruby-red eyes stood out against the ghost-pale skin, my face was altered a bit, I looked more carved out of stone, almost too perfect. But there was still some of the old Bella there, she was hidden but some of her imperfections were still present. I still looked average compared to Rosalie, but way prettier than the average human.  
"So, Bella pumps or flats?" Rosalie asked me as Alice was throwing an outfit together. Before this moment I would have said flats, heels never helped the un-coordinated, but with my new found appearance and gracefulness I decided to make a daring choice "Pumps" I said with a devious smile.

_I know this was a filler, but the next chapter will be extra juicy;]. They discover Bella's "talent", I don't like deviating from Stephenie Meyer's plot, so it's her original power, as seen in Breaking Dawn. Her relationship with Mr. Edward Cullen will change too, for worse or for good? Find out! I love reviews, and I'm already writing a new chapter!_


	4. Complicated

_A/N Well here is quite an eventful chapter. Some stuff develops on Bella's side, NExt chapter will be Edwards. I hope you guys like it, thanks again to Nikki I love your reviews! Read & review :] _

**I do not own these hott characters, SM does.**

**BPOV  
**It had been almost a month since my transformation and things had changed. Ever since that night.  
"Can I go see him?" I asked Carlilse as we all went hunting.  
"I don't know Bella, do you think you would be able to control yourself?"  
"Yes, Jasper and Alice will come if anything happens. I promise it won't, I just need to see how bad it is."  
"Okay, but bring Emmett just in case."  
"Thank You Carlisle!" I said and hugged him. I was going to see Charlie tonight, no one could stop me.  
"Bella, this is not a good idea." Alice said, shaking her head.  
"Well it doesn't matter, I need to see him." I said setting my jaw.  
"Alright, but that means all of us are going." She said  
"Whatever."

We approached my−Charlie's house in record time. I saw a familiar car in the driveway, along with a familiar voice inside. Renee, she was here.  
"Oh, no." she was tearing Charlie apart.

The Cullens had stashed my beloved Truck in the forest and made it appear like I never came home. Apparently Charlie immediately filed a report when no one was home. It had been a week and the Forks Police Department was beginning to suggest run a way, but didn't have the heart to tell Charlie. Considering all my belongings were still in the house, they made a missing persons claim. Of course no one suspected the Cullens, they continued to go to school and Carlisle went to the hospital daily. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward were all with me as I looked through the kitchen window to see Charlie and Renee on the couch. There faces showed they were over come with grief. Renee's face was in her hands, I could see the blood pumping through the thin membrane, as she wept.  
"Our only daughter, Charlie...why would she do this too us?" Renee cried out. Charlie was too overcome with his grief. If my heart was able to, it would have broken right then. I had never seen my parents this distraught, it brought me nothing but ache. How could I ever do this to them? What kind of daughter was I? I imagined the agony they would feel when I was pronounced dead. It felt like a sword was ripping me a part. I broke into tear-less sobs. Then I remembered, this was not my fault. It was _his_ fault, _he_ caused my parents this much agony.

Through out my whole life I had tried to protect them, I was a good daughter, but because of _him_ they were in so much pain. All I saw was red, angry emotion filled me and I felt a sudden burst, like there was a protective shield in a big radius around me, circling Jasper, Emmett and I.

A sudden calm and lethargic mood filled me. The shield seemed to snap back into place when I heard Edward gasp. Everyone stared at him with a confused look; he said he would explain later. We got safely back in the car, and sped away.  
As we rode back to the Cullen house, the sobs did not stop. No matter what emotion Jasper threw at me, it didn't overcome my pain. I could not do anything to ease their pain, all I could do was watch. Watch them suffer and watch them go old and watch them die.  
This week had started off horrible. A new school, the burning. But the week with the Cullens was very fun, until now.

I had devloped a special tie with Alice, she seemed to love playing dress up and I played her new mannequin. I hated it, but it made her happy.

Jasper was the more silent type, but I could tell he truly cared for Alice. Emmett was fun, like the big brother I never had. We watched countless hours of ridiculous reality T.V shows together, laughing at the ridiculous "reality".

Rosalie and I seemed to bond in different ways, after I told her she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen, our relationship got stronger.

Carlilse and Esme were like a second set of parents to me. I would spend my days with Esme, while they went to school. I would help around the house, she was very different than the erratic mother I was used to.

Then there was Edward, my 'room mate'. I don't know if it was the fact he couldn't read my mind, but he was always cautious around me, something obviously bugged him. Now it was my turn, he caused the only people I loved this much pain, I hated him for that. The hatred was unfair, i knew that, it was who he was, what I was now. I could not trust him like the rest of the Cullens. They saved me while he almost killed me.

**EPOV**

"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked, when we returned from the disastrous visit to Charlie's house.  
"It didn't go so well." I murmured. The image of her face, was still eched into my mind.  
But, there were more important things at the moment.  
"She has a talent." I said. Carlisle immediatley looked up at me in surprise. He had already known my talent before I did, Alice's was rather obvious as was Jasper's. He wasn't expecting Bella to have one at all.  
"How do you know?" He asked me, as they came into the room.

The look on Bella's face did strange things to me. An ancient instinct to protect her from the pain she was experiencing, came over me. The pain was written across her face. From the scene she made in front of the house, you could see how much she cared for her parents. She was truly selfless and my selfishness had caused her this pain. I couldn't bear looking at her after the look she gave me in front of her house. Her red eyes were enraged with anger and some other emotion…Now she hated me, for the monster I was, good.

No, I did not want her to hate me, but she would not forgive me, I had ruined her perfect  
human life.

By this point we were all standing in a circle, Carlisle telling everyone what I had told him.  
"Well..what is it?" Carlisle asked, intrigued.  
"Well, you know how I can't read her thoughts, I think its a barrier of some kind...she can spread it too." I said reluctant to make eye contact with her.  
"A shield!" Carlisle said completely intrigued.  
"Yes, I don't think she can control it...yet." I said trying not to offend her.  
"What do you mean a shield?" I flinched, there was venom in her voice, no one else noticed it.  
"Well, while you were uh...outside the house at one point Jasper and Emmett were uh...restraining you and there thoughts suddenly cut off like they were being blocked by something...and as soon as you um.. calmed their thoughts came back." I never stuttered so much in my entire exisistence. I still couldn't look her in the eye.  
"Hmm, interesting... " Carlisle said  
"Yep." She said curtly.  
"Well, I guess we'll learn more about it in the future, for now there seems to be no harm." Carlisle answered in a collected tone, as usual.

Everyone went back to their usual activities, except for Bella and I. She just sat on the stairs, her face in her hands. I don't know what it was, but I had this unfamiliar urge to embrace her and heal her wounds. I settled for just sitting next to her. I felt it necessary for her to hear my apology again, it would mean something to her now.  
"Bella..." saying her name did strange things to me. "I am truly sorry Bella, if I could just go back..." I said "Well you can't" the venom in her voice made me flinch again. It was too confusing, why did I care this much? The pain in her voice echoed mine. I was a selfish being, my family was all I cared about, but this girl. I had taken away her soul. I should feel bad, but not to this extent. It felt like my heart was breaking, if that was possible. A human instinct made me sweep her rich mahagony hair out of her face. It felt like silk under my hands, it also sent chills up my arm when my fingertips grazed her cheek. She slowly looked up, a mix of pain and anger was spelled out on her face. I hadn't noticed before, maybe it was due to our contact, but something about her. I watched her as she bonded with my family. She was so caring, she quickly bonded with everyone. Everyone, but me.

I felt a slight pang of jealousy. Something I have never experienced, until I met this girl. I didn't know this one girl could make me do these things. I gazed into her eyes for a good 3 minutes, the pain in her eyes was now etched into my eyes. She just shook her head and turned away.  
"I'm sorry, but I just need some space right now." was all she said to me.  
"As you wish." I said and walked up to my room. I hated the feeling of rejection, it was too foreign to me.

**BPOV  
**I hated him. But, the feeling he gave me as he grazed my face was amazing, like if I could've blushed I would have, if my heart could've beat faster it would've. This was a new level of confusion for me. How could you hate someone that much, but not at the same time.

I suppressed a sigh. When I looked into his eyes, for what seemed like  
an eternity, there was pain that echoed mine. Why? He didn't make _his_ parents suffer. Carlisle told me they were already dead, when he changed him. So why was he acting like this? Like he felt for me. I knew why, he regretted it, he made a mistake, and he was trying everything he could to apologize. I knew I shouldn't hate him.  
But tonight he did something, he let a barrier down. I could see the true apology, but I couldn't deal with this right now, I hated him at the moment. But even in my human life, I was never one for grudges. It would last maybe a three days, max. But the part I hated the most, was I liked his touch way more than I should've. I could still feel the blazing trail his hand left on my cold cheek. This was going to get  
complicated.

_Sooo…a lot of stuff went down this chapter! I'm probably going to post the next chapter by tomorrow; it will be in Mr. Edward's pov. We get to go to school with him! Yay! _

_I love reviews! Hope you guys liked it._


	5. School!

_A/N Hey guys sorry for the delay, i went out of town for spring break for a while...so couldnt upload anything :\ hope you like the chapter. Completely in Mr. Edward Cullen's POV. I added some humor. Hope you guys like it :DD Read & Revieww :]_

**I wish these hotties were mine but there not :\ they belong to sm**

**EPOV**

Purgatory was not enough to describe school anymore. It was just hell. All my thoughts were involuntarily consumed by _her_. At first I just heard rumors that surfaced. Everyone thought she ran away and now there was fresh gossip for everyone to dwell on. Humans were so predictable.

I heard all the vile human male thoughts about running away with her. It was repulsive.

One in particular, Mike Newton, had the most graphic, vile and revolting fantasies. The boy needed to be taught a lesson. Before I ended up decapitating the disgusting human, I closed off those thoughts. Just to be consumed by my own thoughts of her. I tried to decipher all her movements, facial expressions, and words. The pain of her rejection was still stationed deep in my frozen-over heart.

I began to sulk, something I usually did not do. It was unbearable; I was never the one who needed everyone to be fond of me. But all I needed, all I wanted was to win this girl's affection, and I did not know how.

What would girls of this century like? But then I remembered she was quite different then the girls around here. Their thoughts were selfish and superficial. Bella was selfless and caring, maybe that was the draw I held to her.

I found myself thinking about her non-stop, like some obsessed vampire stalker I would've found myself repulsing. While I was sitting at the lunch table, I knew Jasper could feel everything I was feeling.

Confusion. Rejection. Lust. Desire.

He was monitoring this in his mind, and then he whispered something to Alice.  
"Edward has a crush." I almost ripped his face off.  
Alice's eyebrows shot up, she flipped through multiple visions and then she understood.  
"WHO!?" Emmett almost yelled, of course he was able to hear.  
"Bella!" Alice said a wicked smile across her face. Curse the little pixie.  
Emmett began hooting like an animal and made kissing faces at me. Rosalie started laughing.

"I am going to skin you alive!" I yelled at vampire speed and pushed Emmett out of his chair, he made a very loud noise as he impacted the floor. I was sure he cracked some tiles.

But he still didn't stop the hooting. I almost tore his limbs off right their, but I heard voices hiss,

"Edward, Emmett! Cut it out!" that's when I realized the whole cafeteria was silent.

All the heads were turned to the Cullen table. I slowly returned to my seat. When some human thankfully asked

"So, how bout them Lakers?" in an attempt to start up conversation again.

Fortunately everyone went back to their petty conversations. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper all turned to look at me with ridiculous grins, stretched across their faces.  
"I was only kidding Eddie, no need to spaz out in the middle of the cafeteria." Emmett said annoyingly.  
"I didn't know it was that serious, I've felt those emotions over and over again. That's what high school is all about with normal human teenagers." Jasper said, comparing me to these insignificant humans.

"I hate you all." I retorted.

"I'm sorry we're not Bella!" Rosalie said under her breath causing everyone to laugh.

"If any of you say anything to her, I will rip each of you piece by piece." I spat at them, clenching my jaw.

"Don't worry, this will be fun." Alice replied with the wicked grin still on her face. I saw a glimpse of one of her visions, but then she suddenly started to sing a song in her head.

_Why you gotta go and make things so complicated? I see the way you acting like your somebody else gets me frustrated…_

Ugh, how I hated Avril Lavigne. This only meant they were up to something bad. Extremely bad.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU." I yelled so loud, that even a human sitting next to us could hear.

"Don't be so uptight Edward. So I hear you have a crush on Bella? Do you want me to say anything to her? I knew you changed _her_ for a reason!" Emmett said with a devilish grin.

"Yeah, I mean we all thought you went the other way…But now you have a crush! That's so cute Edward!" Rosalie commented. How I kept my composure at that moment, I would never know. Maybe it was the string of profanities that were coming out of my mouth.

"All right guys, I think we should leave him alone…he's getting extremely pissed." Jasper said, he was slowly becoming my new favorite brother, but then I remembered he started this all and took it back.

"So, what are you going to do?" Alice asked, I could see the real sincerity in her mind.

"I have no idea." I was telling her the truth.

"Well, I guess you have some time to figure it out…Oh! Guess what guys?" Alice asked

"What?" Everyone replied except me.

"Baseball this Saturday!" We haven't played anything in a while, this would be fun.

"YES!" Emmett yelled, another pair of humans turned around to stare at us.

"I think we attracted enough attention to the Cullen clan for one day." Rosalie pointed out.

"When are we leaving, anyways?" she asked. Rosalie hated starting over; she tried her hardest to be a normal human.

"In 3 weeks...Bella has to start school again too." Alice answered.

"Great. Where are we moving to now?"

"Preparations are being made in Alaska, New York and Maine. Carlisle hasn't picked one yet" Alice said in a bored tone.

No one liked starting over. I felt slightly guilty for making them do this. Then I remembered the countless times I had moved for them, and felt a little better. I wondered if Bella would hate starting over, knowing her, she would probably wait until we all graduated so it would be of no inconvenience to us.

A smile crept over my face just thinking about her. My eyes met with Emmett's and I quickly wiped the smile off my face.

"Someone's thinking about Bella!!!" He yelled but not loud enough for human ears.

At that point I got up and decided to leave them. They were so immature sometimes.

"Oh C'mon Eddie! I was kidding." I absolutely despised when they called me Eddie. I decided to go to biology early.

I entered biology more sullen then usual. I really hated them sometimes. They promised they wouldn't tell her, but this was Alice and Emmett we were talking about. Biology was the same inane banter.

We were watching Lorenzo's oil. A movie I have seen over and over again. I really wish I would be able to sleep at times like this. I wondered which movies Bella would like and what she was doing right now.

Her name caught my attention as one of the vile humans started having fantasies. It was Mike Newton again.

Ugh, they started getting even more graphic, they really thought she would run away with these disgusting, normal males.

Would she? I almost lurched out of my seat and tore his head off. Instead I almost threw my chair across the room. Everyone turned around to stare.  
"Are you alright, Mr. Cullen?" the teacher asked.  
_…Hmm...a perfect Cullen interrupting class...  
_"Yes...I just lost my balance on the chair." I said quickly and sat back down, but not before giving Newton an evil stare. He involuntarily shivered and turned around.  
_....What a freak...  
....The Cullens have been acting weirder than usual today..._  
_....I wonder why..._

I really hated school.

I wondered if Bella liked school. I wondered if she liked books, what her favorite subject was. If I could just ask her, but I knew she despised me now.

Maybe _they_ could actually help me with something. I could tell Bella really liked Alice and Emmett. Maybe they could actually do something other than making my life a living hell. I searched for Alice, she was already having visions of different scenarios where she could help me. A big grin grew across her face, scaring those who were sitting near her.  
_....Of course Edward but you'll owe us..._  
I decided to buy her a Canary yellow 911 turbo Porsche. I recently saw it in her mind, when she day dreamed.

As soon as I made the decision final, she saw the vision of her driving to Los Angeles, with Jasper in the passenger seat. She almost jumped out of her seat, hopping up and down. Everyone turned to look at her.  
_....Freak...  
_..._.The Cullens acting up again..._  
...._They are so weird...  
....THANK YOU EDWARD! OF COURSE WE'LL HELP YOU…_

Maybe this meant she would forget about making my life a living hell, or whatever she was thinking during Lunch. I highly doubted it.

The movie continued until I thought it would never end. I had all of Spanish class to convince Emmett, which would be relatively easy. But we both knew Rosalie wore the pants, so I had to really convince her.  
I hated school.

_A/N So...what you guys think??? School really sucks, especially if your Edward Cullen :\\. Wetre goin shopping with Bella alice and Rosalie next chapter! I'm Almost finished with it!!! I love reviews :]_


	6. The Perfect Man

_A/N sorry for the delay guys…personal matters got in the way :\ well heres the next chapter! It's a little short. Hope you guys like it. AND THANKS FOR THE AWESOME REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER :] KEEP THEM COMING!!_

**I do not own any of these characters…**

**BPOV**

The Cullens would be back any second now. Esme was gardening and I was looking through my clothes. Some of these outfits were just ridiculous. Even with my new found gracefulness I would never wear 4- inch stilettos. There was a dark blue dress which barely reached the top of my knees and was strapless. What was Alice thinking? I heard the Volvo pulling up the driveway. I was excited, my days were pretty boring.  
"BELLLA!" Alice yelled.  
"WE'RE GOING SHOPPING!" Rosalie called from took Rose's BMW and were in Seattle in an hour. They had suspicious grins on their face the entire time.  
"Alright guys, what are we here for?" I asked  
"Shopping and a girls night out of course!" Alice replied, winking at Rosalie.  
"What are you two up to?" I asked suspicious.  
"Nothing." They said in unison.

"Lets hit the mall first!" Alice screeched as she inadvertently changes the subject.

We were drowned by shopping bags by 6 and decided to sort things out in the food court. I saw Alice wink at Rosalie as we sat down. It was a Friday night so the mall was packed. All these humans around made the ache in my throat increase. But all these people had families, parents and friends. I couldn't hurt would see if anything would happen.  
"So...Bella you moved from Phoenix right?" Rosalie asked me, she already new the answer.  
"Yep." I answered as several human boys stopped to stare out our table.  
"Did you have a lot of friends there?"

"Well no good friends...I never really bonded with humans." I muttered embarrassed. Rose and Alice broke out into laughter. Then saw the hurt on my face and quickly stopped.  
"I guess you bond with vampires better..." Rosalie commented. Now I understood why they were laughing and joined them.  
"Did you have any boyfriends in Phoenix??" Alice asked with a huge grin on her face. Very suspicious.  
"Not really..." I muttered again. I heard Rosalie snicker and whisper something to Alice that sounded like "She was made for him." I looked suspiciously at both of them.  
"So what's your idea of the perfect man?" Rosalie asked

"Well, I don't really know...the normal stuff..." I said. The truth was I never really thought about love and boys that much.  
"Like what?" Rosalie asked raising her eyebrows.  
"Well he has to be nice, thoughtful and smart." I said stating the obvious.  
"What about his looks??"  
"Well, it doesn't really matter...no one too scary looking or obsessed with their looks...I think once your in love it won't matter..."  
"Aww." Rosalie and Alice said at the same time. I heard Alice whisper to Rosalie. It sounded like "perfect match". These two were up too something.  
"What about you guys?" I asked trying to shift the attention.  
"Emmett." Rosalie answered with a grin on her face.  
"Jasper." Alice said smiling. I envied them, they found their soul mate and were visibly very happy.  
"You guys are pretty lucky." I sighed  
"We know..." They said in unison again. They really needed to spend some time apart.  
"You could be too..." Rosalie muttered, when Alice elbowed her in the side.  
"Alright. What are you guys up to?!" I demanded. Rosalie stared at Alice who just shrugged at her.  
"Well, we know someone who could possibly be your Emmett." Rosalie quickly spit out.  
"Or Jasper." Alice added.  
"Who?" I hardly knew anyone in Washington besides the Cullens.  
"Edward." They said in unison again.  
I was shocked. I thought he was only nice to me because he felt guilty. Then I thought about last night and how he touched my face, I could still feel the trail it left  
on my face. They were telling the truth.  
"Why?" I was still in shock.  
"Well, we don't really know. Edward's been by himself for over a century and even when we were in Alaska...there were so many females...but none interested him..." Alice explained.  
"I thought he went the other way...but apparently he hasn't found the right one yet." Rosalie said rolling her eyes.  
"Shut up Rose, you're just angry he didn't worship you the moment he saw you..." Alice barked  
"Whatever..." Rose answered.  
"Any who...We know he likes you, but what about you?" Alice asked. This question stumped me. I hated him, but the incident on the staircase left me mixed messages. I decided I didn't really hate him. How could you hate that angelic face?  
"I really don't know...I think I do..." I muttered unsure. All I heard was their squealing. Alice had begun hopping up and down and Rosalie wore a huge grin.

"What?" I asked  
"Well, we've been waiting for someone to make our brother happy..."  
"Out of all of us, he always seemed the most depressed...we all knew what he needed but he never listened...." Rosalie added  
"Now he has you! He couldn't have picked anyone better!" Alice yelped  
"Wait wait wait...I haven't even had a whole conversation with him and you're already picking out wedding dresses..." I exclaimed  
"Well, I can already see what's going to happen...Don't worry I'll keep it a secret..." Alice winked at me.  
"And...you described him as your perfect man...you guys were meant for each other!" Rosalie added. They were like little kids in a candy store.  
"Let's go shop for some lingerie!!" Rosalie yelled. I would've blushed 3-shades of red if I could've.  
"You guys are crazy..." I muttered as they dragged me off to Victoria's Secret.

_A/N What'd you guys think? Will Bella fall for Edward too? Or will she find a new reason to hate him! Next chapters almost finished…In Mr. Edward's point of view ofcourse. Tell me if you want me to stick to one person's POV…thanks:] I love reviews!!_


	7. A meadow

_A/N Hey guys! Here's the next chapter…Sorry for the lateness. The time period got a little mixed up. The shopping trip was supposed to take place a month after her transformation..sorry. So They've been living together for about a month… Also I'm having a little trouble with how their physical relationship develops…so any ideas are great!! Thanks for the great suggestions last chapter (LoL) Daniel's help with everything. AND AMAZING REVIEWS!! KEEP THEM COMING!! _

**I do not own any of these characters…**

**EPOV**

I continued to pace back and forth...waiting for them to return.  
_....Always so uptight..._  
"Relax Edward...there not going to sabotage you..."

Emmett and Jasper were lounging on my couch trying to calm me down.  
"Yeah, they never mean any harm Edward..." Jasper added as calm filled the room.  
"LET ME BE JASPER!" I barked at him.  
"I'm sorry...but, your wives better not mess this up for me." I explained  
"It's alright Edward..." Jasper said, he probably felt my emotions as well.  
"Yeah...I know being 17 is hard, especially when your very hormonal." Emmett snickered then winked at me. Jasper broke out into laughter and high-fived Emmett. I just gave Emmett a polite smile and punched him across the face. He flew off the couch.  
"Be nice boys!!" Esme yelled from downstairs.  
"Sorry Esme." we all said.  
"So you really do like her?" Emmett asked  
"Yes...I just...don't know why...well I do...but its hard to explain..." I muttered.  
"Its called "love"!" They exclaimed in a sing song voice. I threw a book at them...sometimes they could be so difficult. But, I really needed their help for once...  
"Are you two done?" I sighed.  
"Not quite." Emmett said, but Jasper quickly shushed him, sensing my worry.  
"Just be yourself when you're with her." He advised.  
"Yeah! Use your natural charm!" Emmett added "And don't let her know _how _inexperienced you are."  
"Shut it." I yelled one last time, when I heard the BMW come up the drive way.  
"Everyone be quiet!" I whispered.  
"We're home!!" Alice chirped from downstairs.

Like dogs to their owners Jasper and Emmett quickly rushed downstairs. I slowly walked to the staircase. My eyes quickly met Bella's but I looked away. I saw her face in the mind of Rosalie, it looked confused, but Rosalie quickly winked at her and started to think of images of Emmett that would forever blind me.  
"Did you all have fun?" I asked curiously.  
"Yep." Alice answered and winked at me. I saw a glimpse of a food court..  
_....I'll tell you all about it at another time..._  
I inconspicuously shook my head, I needed to know now. Alice sighed.  
"Bells, why don't you and Rose go hunt, I knew the mall wasn't very easy for you..." Alice said.

Oh, she was in pain at the mall. She should've not gone, she should've stayed here, away from pain. Bella looked visibly fine, but she was probably in pain…  
"Lets go Bella." Rosalie said as she grabbed her arm and led her outside.  
"Jasper! Can you go get my bags please!?" Alice asked with the sweetest smile on her face. She already knew the answer of course.  
"Sure." Jasper replied with a content smile on his face as she pecked him on the cheek. I rolled my eyesJasper quickly went to get her bags.  
"So?" I asked trying to keep my calm.  
"You are very impatient..." Alice sighed. Then she went through her memories. One in the food court.  
_...."Do you like him?"  
....."I think I do..."_

…"_Fits your description of the Perfect Man!"_  
Then a stream of visions appeared before me, of _us_ together. But were quickly cut off. I didn't care. It felt like my heart could burst out of my chest. I never knew this type of happiness before. It felt like the grin on my face would never go away. Of course "like" was an understatement to me, but it would do. Then I thought about what I would do next and drew up a blank. My grin quickly turned to a frown. Alice saw this change as Jasper walked back in with an avalanche of bags.  
"What?" Alice asked slightly annoyed.  
"What do I do, now?" I asked sheepishly.

Alice was about to say something, but Jasper quickly stopped her.  
"You need to figure this one out yourself, but here's a hint, try winning her trust." Jasper stated  
I tried digging through Alice's mind but I couldn't find anything besides 80s music, until she looked at the bags. These pink bags and I saw a flash of memory in her mind. That almost had me on the floor. Alice and Rosalie were in a very pink fitting room. Bella came out with only her bra and jeans on. I only saw her for a second, then Alice quickly began singing songs again. If my heart could have it would've jumped out of my chest.

"Woo!" Jasper yelled. "What's with all the lust, brother?!" Alice began to laugh.

"He just saw a flash of Bella in a fitting room!" she said in the middle of giggles.

My siblings did not know when to shut it. Emmett came out of his room, barking with laughter.

"Keep it in your pants, Edward!"

"That's enough children…" Carlisle called from his office.

"You all are so bothersome!" I shouted

"Relax, it happens to everyone…" Jasper explained.

"It's okay Edward." Alice told me

…_She has as much _experience _as you have …_

This came as a surprise to me, but it solved nothing. I new they all had good intentions, but did they have to be this troublesome?

Bella and Rosalie would be back any second. Hopefully no one would open their big mouths. I shot them each death glares as Bella walked into the room. Bella went to grab her bags to take upstairs. I beat her to it.

"Allow me." I said trying to be charming. I knew it wouldn't have the same effect as it did on human women, but it was worth a try. Her expression went blank for a moment. Then she spoke

"Sure…" She followed me upstairs; Emmett winked at me as I passed him on the stair case.

…_You're going a little too fast their brother, Why don't you try dinner first?…_

If there weren't ladies present I would've found many profanities to spit at him.

I placed her bags in the closet, and shut the door.

"So, did you have fun shopping?" I asked, in effort to get to know her more.

"Depends, on what you call fun." She sighed.

I knew she was different; she hated people taking care of her, and spending money on her. That would have to change.

"What do you do for fun, besides drive your car?" She asked, I could see her eyes filling with questions.

"Let me show you." I smiled as I grabbed her hand, it was like an electric jolt through my arm. Her skin was the same temperature as mine, but something about her touch…

I took her through my bedroom window, to avoid everyone downstairs.

There was a particular spot in the forest where you could see the sunrise perfectly. A small meadow.

"Where are we going?" She asked cautiously. Of course she would want to know, she was responsible after all. I wouldn't let anything happen to her, she should know that.

"You'll see." I smiled at her as we ran through the forest. We reached the spot in record time.

I didn't want to let her hand go, it felt nice there. Like I was complete. She made no motion to remove it either. It was almost 5:00 am the sun wouldn't rise for another hour and the rain was light.

"Wow…This is beautiful." She said in awe as she looked around the meadow.

"I know…This is my favorite spot in the whole forest, especially during sunrise."

She sighed contently

"This is the most quiet I've gotten in weeks…"

"Same for me, as well." I commented

"Bella...I think we need to start over…" I said hesitantly.

"Me too." She said smiling. Her smile was amazing, it would have made my blood race.

"So, you moved here from Phoenix, correct?" I asked trying at small talk.

"Mhm." Was all she replied as we roamed the meadow.

"Was it because you liked Forks that much?" I asked, trying to keep her talking. She actually laughed, a silvery laugh. It was the most amazing sound ever.

"Not at all, I actually hated Forks, but my mother, Renee got remarried…"

"And?" I asked trying not to sound too interested, when I was actually hanging on her every word.

"Phil travels a lot, he plays baseball and staying home with me made her unhappy so I decided to spend time with my dad…" She whispered, I could see the pain becoming more prominent in her features as she talked about her father. All because of my selfishness

"If I could just…take it back…I would Bella…" I cried out. She smiled in reply

"I thought we were starting over…"

"Yes but−"

"Let me just ask one question." She interrupted

"Anything." I stated.

"Why did you stop? Why didn't you just kill me right then?" She was facing away from me, looking into the forest.

"I don't know…" I whispered, but I did know. I needed to see her face. To see if she was judging me for the monster I was. I spun her around. All I saw was pure curiosity across her face.

"I think because…deep down, I didn't want to hurt you, it was just the thirst taking over…The human side of me tried to stop, and when the rest of my family came I realized what I'd done. It's been torturing me, thinking if Carlisle pried me away or if my own will pried me from you…" I cried out

"But I know if my family wouldn't have stopped me…It would've been the biggest mistake of my existence. And from the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry, because of my weakness you have to suffer." I couldn't look into her eyes anymore.

"Edward…" hearing her say my name did strange things to my body.

"Even after seeing my parents, after seeing what I'd lost forever, I still can't bring my self to hate you. And I don't know why…it's been killing me." I looked up and saw nothing but confusion on her beautiful face.

Alice was right, she didn't hate me…But would this help anything? We sat there in the meadow, for quite some time. I was fully content, she seemed so too. Then I saw Bella in the sunlight. Her skin shinning like thousands of diamonds.

Of course she had seen herself in the sun before, so there was no surprise, but I had not seen her, it was breathtaking. She saw me as well and gasped at the sight. We did not move at all, but she took her hand and brushed my cheek. The electric jolt was still there and the feeling of her hand was amazing. At this moment, I wanted nothing more then to pick her up into my arms and kiss her. I did not know if she wanted the same. We could have laid there for hours, but we had to get back to the house…

"We should go…" I heard her whisper, the reluctance in her voice filled my heart with joy.

"Yes…they'll be wondering…" I replied

I helped her up and we stood there for a while, admiring the sunrise. Alice said it would be sunny today, so we would be ditching school. I heard her sigh, and I was dying to know what she was thinking. If she wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss her. It was a foreign impulse, but it was strong. She turned around to head back when I stopped her.

"Bella?" I whispered

She turned around; her face looked beautiful at this moment. Behind the cold marble skin, there were some imperfections which made her beautiful. At one moment she looked like the Bella I saw in the kitchen flushed red, full of surprise.

I already knew her personality like my own. She was responsible, selfless and a bit stubborn. That much showed from her actions, but she was different from regular girls her age.

Her mind was a mystery, but there was something else that had drawn me to her. Something deeper than lust or want, maybe it was just fate.

I placed my hand under her chin and motioned her face up so her lips could reach mine. I paused and stared deep in her eyes. They were full of lust, just as mine were. I slowly ducked my head so our lips could meet.

_Sorry about the cliff hanger! Will she deny Edward!? But one question: If they do kiss, Do you want this kiss from Edward or Bella's pov. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Thanks for all the great reviews last chapter and sorry for the wait..next one will be out quicker._


	8. Sin

_A/N SORRY SORRY SORRY!!! FOR THE LATENESS....SAT'S ARE COMING UP _ ANYWAYS HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. Next chapter will be faster. I love all the awesome reviews I get :]. And a special thanks to holnico for the great suggestions. I wrote this chapter twice, it had two possibilities, I chose the more "interesting" one. _

**I don't own these characters…**

**BPOV **

Too soon.

Even though I was 17, I'd never had a first kiss.

But now, the opportunity was right in front of me it was still too soon. I hardly knew much about him. Renee had taught me never to commit to a relationship, if I wasn't ready. This wasn't right.

The setting, his intentions, Edward was perfect. I just felt it wasn't right. The conflict of love and hate was still battling within me. I was confused. His neck was lowering and I still felt the warmth of his hand in mine. It felt right there, but I wasn't ready for this.

We had started over, but this kiss, would represent more than just a kiss. We would be together forever. I wasn't ready for that. I slowly ducked my head and inched away. I could feel his hurt and it was killing me, but I would never lead someone to nowhere.  
"I'm sorry..." I muttered and ran back to the house, without looking back.

I couldn't see his face, I knew what rejection could do to a person. I almost broke into tear less sobs as I ran back to the house.

I couldn't face his family either. I settled on walking through the forest until I could man up and face them. I couldn't believe what I'd just done. Everything was perfect, except...me. I didn't want to kiss him...maybe the hate had won inside me. If I felt this bad, I didn't dare think what he was feeling.  
**  
EPOV**  
I sat in the meadow by myself. I looked at the tree I just uprooted. Its roots sprawled across the meadow. But, the only thing I saw was the same scene played over and over again.  
My Rejection.  
It was the worst feeling ever experienced and I had just experienced it ten-fold. I wanted to be alone, my chest felt a bit hollow.  
....This is not Edward Cullen; he is not a coward...  
I thought to myself. One girl could not, _should_ not, hold the power to destroy my life. Except her...

No.  
I was going to build up the strength to move on, my fists tightened and I stood up. Then I thought of facing my family and crippled back down to the floor.  
If I could only read her mind...  
Maybe she just needed some time, or maybe I was a complete imbecile in believing she could love a monster. I remembered her face in the sunlight, the slight smile on her lips. She was the most beautiful creature in existence, but she could never be mine, for she would never forgive me for my sin. I wondered if a century-old heart could break, because mine shattered at that moment.

_Sorry about the short chapter, tell me what you think about this plot twist. What will the Cullen's say? I love Reviews!!! The next one will be out quicker, promise!! Thanks for the read :D_


	9. Chapter 9

I apologize for never updating this story...i lost interest. EXTREMEE writers block is more like it. Im soo soo soo sorrry. I hope you will all conitnue reviewing and reading this story. im determined to finish it.

NOne of these characters belong to me.

**BPOV**

The foreset was stirring with life, as i approached the Cullen house. Everyone seemed to be moving in a hurried pace. Alice was excited about something, Carlisle was on the phone, and the whole house was preparing. I wondered what was going on. I couldn't go back and check on Edward, I felt bad enough.

His face was covered in agony. Pain, i had caused. I couldn't face him again, i couldn't face his family either. Would they forgive me? Would he? This new life adn this new family was already overwhelming. Could I handle having a boyfriend, too? No. I knew what it would mean if we were together. We would have to be soulmates. I hardly knew him, I owed him more than a lie. He took my family from me, but he gave me this life. This life, which i was good at. But, I didn't know if I could love, we were trapped in the state we were changed. I never knew love, would I? It was the same for Edward, he hardly knew me. Maybe he didn't know either, I would do us both a favor if I held this off. For now, I would have to play a Cullen. I walked back through the front door of the house, trying to figure out the commotion.

"What's going on Jasper?" I asked as he passed me carrying a vaccum.

"Our cousins are comming!" He yelled over the vaccum.

Ah, the Denali Clan. I heard about them, they were the only other "vegetarian" vampires the Cullens knew. They were like a second family. The Denali Clan consisted of Tanya, Kate and Irina. They were originally Russian and pldged themselves to this life without human blood. They were later joined by Carmen and Eleazar, other vegetarian vampires. They had a permanent residence in Alaska. I was a little excited to meet this extended family I now had.

"It'll be a lot of fun!" Alice assured me. Than whispered, "It's alright, we'll dicuss this later."

"We can finally have even teams!" Emmett shouted from upstairs. It seemed like the Cullens were having spring cleaning. I decided to help tidy up Edward's room. I forgot that we shared a room, this would only be awkward. I doubt he was back, so I went upstairs.

**EPOV**

A mistake. It was a big mistake.

I was still wallowing in my grief, how could I have been so stupid! I had taken away her soul! Ofcourse she would have not loved me! Who would? This was a big mistake, curse Alice. But, kissing her?! Was that really my plan? Self-loathing washed over me again. This was pathetic. I was pathetic. I needed to get up, get out of here.

I slowly made my way back to the house, covered in mud from the forest. It was one of the few sunny days in Forks, that meant I could not escape Bella, and she could not escape me. I hung my head, she probably wanted nothing to do with me in the first place. Maybe if I was persistent? No, persistentcy was only more pathetic. I knew one thing for sure, I didn't want to be away from her. Was this love? I didn't know, I had never been in love. Then I decided, It was best if we acted like this never happened. Maybe if we got to know each other...

I already knew her, she was selfless, intriguing and stubborn. She was like nothing I've ever seen before. BUt did she know me? Ofcourse she didn't. Maybe that was the problem. I definitely did not build any trust like Jasper said. Maybe if I didn't take away her soul. I felt a crippling tear for what I did. I would never forgive myself for what I did, even if Bella did. I would try everything to make Bella happy, if that could repent my mistakes. The house slowly came into view, along with the thoughts. Oh! Tanya was visiting this weekend. Maybe this would distract everyone from my clear wallowing. We all missed the Denalis as well.

_A/N:_

_Again sorry for the loooooooong time between reviews. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, hopefully I will get the next chapter out soon. I loveeeee Reviewss! Thanks so much for readinggg._


	10. Tanya

_I do not own any of these characters._

BPOV

They were all gorgeous. All of them. Tanya, Irina, and Kate, I don't blame the poor humans who had mistaken them for goddesses. And they were all very congenial, and definitely distracted me from the awkward Edward situation. We hadn't really talked since the meadow, and I was grateful. I had no idea how to go about anything like this. Back in Phoenix I would mock girls who stressed so much over a stupid guy. But he wasn't a stupid guy, he was _Edward_. No matter what, I could still feel the charged air whenever we were in close proximity to each other. It was terrible.

Alice was no help either, she told me, ironically, that she shouldn't get involved.

"Bella, I'm not going to dictate your relationship any more." She said, this morning.

"I've done more than enough" Alice sighed.

So I was on my own with this one, thank god the Denali's were here.

"Bella! You have to be on our team!" Tanya shouted, as we were getting ready to leave for the clearing.

"Yeah, sure!" I responded, even though i was still sure, that vampirism wouldn't fix my baseball skills. Baseball was by far the most boring sport, I didn't know how Charlie watched it almost everyday. _Charlie._ I haven't seen him since that night. I couldn't bear to think of him now, when we were supposed to be "having fun".

"You too, Edward!"

"Sure, Tanya." Edward murmured.

Great. Time for some awkward team bonding. Tanya seemed over enthused by the fact that Edward was on her team and gave him a hug that seemed more than friendly.

What was _that_?

They haven't seen each other in a while, the Denalis were like family, right? Even so, why did I care? I had rejected Edward, why was I worrying. I bit my lip and tried to shake any thoughts of him out of my head.

EPOV

It was truly ironic how things were turning out. Here I was pining for the one person I could not have, while Tanya was throwing herself at me. Again. I knew what I would have to do soon. It was the right thing to do, the gentleman's way out. I needed to tell Tanya the truth that I didn't care for her. But I couldn't break it to her, so early in their visit.

So as usual, I endured her enthusiasm and lingering hugs. As well as, Jasper and Emmett's constant teasing.

…_Just give it to her Edward…_Emmett thought as Tanya gave me another one of her hugs, I rolled my eyes at him.

Jasper only snickered, completely aware of Tanya's feelings.

As I got out of the hug, I saw Bella staring at me, with a bewildered look. This was the most contact we've had since Tanya got here. I looked away quickly, still unable to face my rejection. This was going to be a long eternity.

"Time for Baseball!" Carlisle called as he and Esme sprinted into the forest. Each of us followed, as the skies opened up.

_i apologize so much for just not continuing this story, its been years! I'm trying to get back into writing. Thanks so much for your support. this is a short chapter but its laying the ground for some big things. Dont forget to review! THANK YOU._


	11. Baseball

_I do not own the rights to these characters._

BPOV

The clearing was in the middle of the forest, the grass neatly trimmed. It could have easily been a baseball or football field. I was in the outfield since it was my first time playing. The thunder had just started and Tanya was our pitcher, Emmett was the first one up to bat.

"You ready Emmett?" Tanya called out, right before she hurled the ball at lightning speed.

If I were still human, I would have barely registered the ball moving. But, I heard the ear-splitting crack that sounded just like thunder. Then Emmett was running, straight for first base. I could see the ball heading for Edward, well more like Edward was chasing it. The way he moved, with such assurance and grace was astonishing. I shook my head, this was not the time. I was supposed to be playing baseball. I didn't want to be picked last for the rest eternity. Before I knew it he threw the ball to Rosalie who was at first base.

"Woo! Edward!" Tanya yelped, as Rosalie caught the ball.

Emmett kept on running, even though he was out. Rosalie gave him the coldest stare I have ever seen.

"Don't you dare." She screamed, then she hit the ground. They slid about twenty feet, mud flying everywhere. All you could hear was a string of curses coming out of Rosalie's mouth, words I didn't know people actually used. The rest of the Cullens stifled their laughter, even the Denalis. We all knew Emmett would have hell to pay tonight, but from what Alice told me, they lived for the "make up sex". I shuddered.

"Break it up you two!" Esme yelled, as Rosalie was kicking Emmett off of her.

After a few innings, we were up to bat. Tanya and Kate were on our team, and each hit impeccable home runs. I was up to bat and very nervous. If a vampire could sweat, I would be doing just that.

"Just relax." Edward told me as I was going up to home plate. "You'll be fine." He avoided eye contact, but I could tell he was being sincere. I guess the nerves were painted on my face, Irina was pitching.

"Ready?" She said, politely. I nodded my head. I could see the ball coming at me, clearly. I swung and it made contact. As soon as I heard the crack, I sprinted to first base. It really was exhilarating, being good at sports for once. I could tell why the Cullens were so competitive. This was actually fun. I laughed, as my team cheered for me. I gave Edward a small smile.

Three innings later, we were all covered with mud and the rain was letting up. We decided to call it quits, but our team actually won! We huddled together and shared high fives, but I noticed Tanya giving a Edward a long look. I knew she was telling him something, Edward's face contorted into a weird smile I had never seen before.

I felt a pang of anger. I suddenly wondered what their history was, why she was doing this to him, and what was that smile? I had never seen it, not even in the meadow. But it didn't seem happy at all, it was a bit uncomfortable.

Oh no.

I was jealous. I was jealous of Tanya and her wonderful strawberry blonde hair, I suddenly felt like my human self. Fully aware of my plain brown hair and pasty skin, I saw Edward look over to me as we made our way through the forest. I couldn't meet his eyes, and hid behind my hair.

The congenial exchange of words at home plate was not nearly enough to soothe the lack of self-esteem I was experiencing, not to mention the fact I was covered head to toe in mud.

But he had _wanted_ to kiss me just a few days ago…

EPOV

Her laugh, her smile I couldn't resist. I couldn't help but wallow in what I could never have. It had been so easy falling in love with her; it seemed ignoring it would be impossible. I sighed, Tanya was not very helpful in this situation.

…_Edward we really do belong together… _

I gave her a slight smile, failing to hide my discomfort. I felt as though I was violating some sort of treaty, I owed Tanya enough to tell her the truth. They were planning on leaving tonight, to visit Carmen's friends in Mexico. As we made our way back to the house, I caught a glimpse of Bella. She purposefully avoided contact and looked angered. I thought we were on friendly terms? Had I just imagined that smile? I ached a bit at seeing her ignore me so obviously. It seemed we were back to square one. I sighed.

I seemed to be doing that more frequently, as of late. I could already hear Emmett and Rosalie planning their shower together, I quickly ran ahead.

_Hey guys, exciting isn't it? Bella getting jealous? All Edward wants is some love. Next chapter should be exciting._


	12. Shower

_I do not own any of these characters_

BPOV

I blamed it on my vampirism. Everything was amplified, right? My hunger, my lust, my anger…I was just uncontrollable.

I slowly trailed the others as I walked to the house, Esme was adamant on not getting mud everywhere so I ran upstairs, trying not to get anything on the white plush carpets.

I walked into Edward's room half expecting to see him and Tanya going at it, as they had walked ahead of me together. Instead the room was empty and I ran to the shower, grateful. The hot water would calm me down and showering just made me feel normal again. The steam quickly fogged up the mirrors, as I carefully removed each piece of dirt-caked clothing. The shower in Edward's room—our room now—was huge, with different shower head settings and nozzles. I immersed myself in the water and tried slowly to think about nothing but the water hitting my back.

EPOV

I had let Tanya down easily. I could see that her crush was anything but pure and she would easily bounce back. The human men she went after were all too willing, and she was not used to rejection. Of course Tanya was beautiful, like most of my kind. But after laying eyes on Bella, there was no return.

I was on my way back to the house, consumed with the thoughts of Bella's reaction after the game. What was she thinking? Was she still upset that I tried to kiss her? I internally kicked myself, I should have waited. I ruined everything.

I was walking up the stairs, when I realized I would never hear the end of it if there was mud everywhere. I took of my cleats and ran to my room.

I saw her.

She quickly warpped the towel over herself, but it was too late.

The water forming droplets on her skin, her wet hair cascading down her back and the terrified look on her face, I immediately apologized and left the room as quickly as I could, managing to knock over a pile of CDs during my exit.

My hand was gripping the doorknob, I was sure it had contorted to the shape of my hand. My breathing was growing shallow, my pulse would've quickened if I had one. That image would be seared into my memory for all of eternity, I tried my best to shake the thought from my mind. It was not a gentleman thing to do, think about a woman this way. But the way she looked, her hair grazing her bare collarbones, it was…she was more than beautiful…more than sexy. The lust was taking over.

_SPICY CHAPTER! Haha hope you guys enjoyed this one. I LOVE REVIEWS. _Xoxo.


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